on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
