Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
