We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
