the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm both gender and math confused
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
