HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
