My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
