no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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