I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
