She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
