I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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