dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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