How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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