and you said cock pushups were impossible
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You've changed since you got that strap on
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
