i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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