Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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