Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
