You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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