Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
