the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
