dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
