do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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