Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
