Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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