The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
