I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
