spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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