Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
