The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize