i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
A bitchslap is in order.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
