@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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