Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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