just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
