Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
