margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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