you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize