I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
