He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
