he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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