I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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