Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
