i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
