that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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