no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
