captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
