We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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