so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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