So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
