If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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