Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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