I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
