Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
