I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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