So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
