My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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