So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
honey bunches of taint.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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