Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
