i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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