Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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