Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
