Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
