all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
