dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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