Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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